


Vagabond One Shot

by NBrown



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Funny, Vagabond, oneshots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-07-25 18:59:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16203686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NBrown/pseuds/NBrown
Summary: A short oneshot I thought of, it seemed funny to me, basically about how crazy vagabond is





	1. Chapter 1

"Your honor, these accusations are absolutely ridiculous." Ryan said, he was being accused of public incidence, which was ironic because he was completely naked in the court, but he acted as if he was fully clothed, "Your honor, do I look like the kind of person who would walk around nude in public?" He said and raised his hands up to show himself, "Take a look at me, a good... long look."

"Sir you are accused of flashing over a hundred people", The Judge said

Ryan slammed his dick on the table and yelled, "Lies!"

"order, order in the court", The judge said while she hit the hammer on her desk, "You are sentienced to 5 years in prison anything else mister Haywood?"

"Yeah, I'll have a 12 Inch pepperoni pizza as my last meal please." Ryan said and laughed, the judge hit the hammer again and said, "You are not being put to death Haywood", Ryan laughed and wiped a tear from his eye, "Yeah, but you are". Just then a shot rang across the room and the judge dropped dead, the wall crumbled down and a van pulled through, opened it's back doors, grabbed Ryan, and drove off.

"About time you guys showed up", Ryan said with a laugh, "Now where's my mask".


	2. OneShot 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One Shot 2- The killshot

"Ryan we need you here, where the fuck are you", Geoff yelled over the Intercom. "Wh-" Ryan tried to say but the caramel in his mouth made it hard, "What do you want", He said while he swallowed his candy.

"The cops are everywhere, we have a hole we can escape through, so get your ass over here", Ryan was listening while he stuffed his candy bar inside the dead bank managers mouth and took his mask off the desk. "Go on without me, I'll catch you on the free side," Ryan said and turned off his coms. He put his mask on and looked behind him at the dead manager sitting at his desk, leaned back in his chair with a bullet through his eye and a candy bar in his mouth. "Next time buy Dark instead of milk chocolate you cheap bastard", Ryan said with a laugh, he walked down the stairs to the main floor, the rest of the crew left through the sewer tunnel below the vault, they blew a hole on the vault floor and Ray stashed bikes down there, but Ryan didn't feel like driving through literal shit. 

"Alright, so you fucks wanna interrupt my day with your loud guns and microphones", Ryan said to himself while he cracked opened the banks main door to see the cops outside, but the door was quickly shot at which caused him to jump back, "So you wanna play rough, I'm cool with that", He cocked his AR and was about to go out when he heard a cry. He was still for a second, when he heard it again, he turned to where he heard it, "Jackpot", he went over to the desk he heard it from and saw a lady sitting underneath it crying, "Hey you", he said and the lady jumped, "Come here, you are gonna help me", He said while he grabbed her arm and lifted her up. He dragged her to the front door and kicked it open while putting the girl in front of him, with his gun raised. The light from the outside blinded him for a second, and the cops megaphone beamed out, "Put the hostage down", Ryan smiled from inside his mash, "Why? so you can have a better shot?", He yelled and started shooting them with his AR, spraying them, taking a few of them out. They didn't shoot back cause of the lady but the captain said fuck it and started shooting at Ryan, which other cops soon follow.

"Well lady, they don't care about you", He said and dragged her to a ally way, he rushed her down the ally way before the cops had a line of sight again, he spotted a car and went towards it but just then the cops started shooting again, the lady was shoot about 7 times in a second and she fell, "Fuck", Ryan said. He picked up the lady and threw her in the backseat while he jumped in front and hot wired the car easily. He quickly drove out of the other exit in the ally and down the streets, "Thank fuck those cops aim bad, but seems like they didn't hit any vital organs", He said to the lady, which was probably having a panic attack, he drove to the safe house in the hills and parked the car. He got out of the car and helped the lady out of the backseat, he carried her to the house and knocked on the door, after waiting for a few seconds the door opened and Geoff was there, he seemed mad but noticed the girl, "Fuck what happened?"

"Cops" is all Ryan said.

"Well, bring her in here and help her", Geoff said while he opened the door for them, Ryan went inside and laid her on the couch, he fished in his pocket for some tweezers and found them. "Alright so this ain't the cleanest patch up, but it'll do", Ryan said and he proceeded to take all the bullets out of her, she was silent but awake, "Ok, so all the lead is out of you, so you wont be triggering a metal detector anytime soon", Ryan said and the lady looked calmer, Ryan stood up and took off his mask, and breathed. Geoff was sitting on the chair next to the couch trying to comfort the woman, just then the rest of the crew walked in and noticed her, "Who's she", Ray asked.

Ryan looked at Ray and back at the lady, and smiled ever so slightly and pulled out his pistol, aimed and cocked it at the girl, and started laughing, "A loose end".


	3. One shot 3 - Cell Mates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When your cell mate is the Vagabond and he tells you his stories

"So then I was all like, pew pew, he was all like, dead", Ryan was in the Orange Cloths the prison gave him, he was laying on the top bunk with his legs crossed and his hands behind his head. "So then I fucked his wife, man was she tight, after which I killed her, she was all like, 'Ryan, please take me with you'", Ryan said in his best Female voice, "But I don't want her, I mean if she cheated on her husband then she will on me." His cell mate, Clay, was trying to read his book in quiet, when Ryan was quiet for a minute after his last story Clay smiled hoping he was down so he could read, but that didn't last long- "So this one time, I was driving my car down the road", Ryan paused for a second, "Sorry, it was a truck, anyway, I am driving fast and drunk so I nail this bitch in some little girl car, a Fusion I think, well she was dead man, blood every fucking where", Ryan said and his eyes were dancing like a kid in a toy store, like he was reliving the thought, "Well I was like, shiiiiiiiit, so first thing I do is grab my pistol from the glove box and toss it in some ally, go to this bar and ask to use their phone-".

"Wait, why didn't you use your phone?" Clay asked

"Well I don't trust those weird things, and besides you see all the underage girls posting pics of their ass, I don't want that shit man, I wanna keep my conscience clean, ya know?"

"Yeah, cleeeean", Clay said in response.

"So anyway I go to the bar, ring up the cops-"

"Wait the cops? why?"

"If you would let me finish you will know"

"Right, right, sorry"

"So I call the cops, and tell them my trucks been stolen, well that bitch kept me on the line asking like what color and shit was, turns out she was just keeping on the line till the cops showed at the bar to arrest me, sneaky bitch, and that's why I ended up here for the next 10 years".

"Shit, only ten?"

"Yeah they don't give you a long sentence if you were drunk."

"Ah, well can I read my book now-", Clay prayed he would let him but Ryan cut him off.

"So this one time, I was walking down the-"

A guard was walking by and looked in the cell, he noticed it was the famous Vagabond, "Hey, look at you, stuck in a cage like the animal you are".

"Oh boy", Clayton said under his breathe.

"Ain't so strong now is you?" The guard taunted.

"Very strong, you illiterate fool", Ryan shot back.

"Strong huh? but you are stuck in there, you see these", the guard tapped on the bars of the cell, "Can't get through them", the guard laughed and turned to walk away when sudden he was being choked from behind. Ryan had a string and when the guard began to turn he rushed over to the bars and wrapped the string around his neck, choking him. Ryan lifted the guard off the floor, the guard was trying to get the string off but couldn't, he slowly struggled less till he finally fell silent. Right before he faded into the darkness, the last thing he heard was "No, you are trapped in here with me".

"Holy shit", Clay said and laid his book down, Ryan chuckled and slowly lowered the guards body to the floor, once down he grabbed the guards key and unlocked their cell. "Come, we are breaking out", Ryan said and walked down the cat walk, the other inmates yelling to be free, which Ryan simple threw the keys at one of them and told him to unlock the rest.

"What you do that for?" Clay asked.

"For a distraction, the chaos will mask our escape", Ryan answered calmly. Ryan and Clay walked to the armory which stored the guns and armor, the guards there didn't know of the break out yet, and they were playing poker on the other said of the armory, Ryan walked in on the side with the guns, grabbed two and handed one to Clay. "Kill", was all Ryan said before they sprayed their guns at the unaware guards, moments later the alarm went off, "Parties over, time to leave".

"How long were you waiting to say that line?" Clay asked.

"Days".

On the other side of the prison, where the main entrance was, it had a lot of doors controlled by buttons, Geoff and Ray were walking in via the front, Ray being in cuffs and Geoff posing as a cop, they walked in and the guards let them into the first set of doors out of three. "Hey aren't you Ray, the heister?" A guard asked while waiting for the second door to open, "Yeah", Ray answered.

"We have your buddy in here, sure he will be glad to see you", He said with a smirk.

The door opened and Geoff turns to the man, "Think he will be glad to see both of us", Geoff said and shot him with his pistol, Ray broke off the fake plastic cuffs and grabbed his own pistols, screaming at the guards to get down, by this time Ryan and a few other inmates were on the other side and taking the guards their hostage, Geoff went and opened the third door so Ryan and the other prisoners to get through.

"Marvelous, hope you don't mind but I made some new friends, and they are eager to work", Ryan said.

"We were counting on it, we have armored vans disguised as police trucks to get them out, once we get out of the area the cops will think we are one of them and won't follow", Geoff said, and they proceeded to walk out the front door, they shot at the guard towers, spraying them with bullets, after being sure they were dead they rushed across the small parking to the vans, they got in quickly and Ryan got in the back while Ray and Geoff drove.

Ryan turned to Clayton and gave him his book he was reading in the cell, "Here, it's a long way to the Safe house, and I am all out of stories."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, that prison thing was kinda confusing but I hope you understand, basically a set of doors controlled by buttons, which are opened one at a time, and Geoff got to the panel and opened them all. anyway hope you enjoyed


	4. Oneshot IV - Ballad of Vagabond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, this is another one shot, enjoy

BANG BANG.  
Gunshots rang through the warehouse, Ryan's ears rang a little from the noise, he had his gun still up, pointing at the man who was clearly dead on the ground, then one last bang was heard in the cold building. Ryan slowly lowered his gun, his face blank and mask-less, he lost his skull mask somewhere in the fight, he breathed out a breathe and started to walk away from the carnage he left yet again, like the nights before, he would bring chaos and destruction wherever he pleased, he would kill the bad and sinful, but he wasn't a hero, or an anti hero, he was worst then the people he killed, he would torture everyone who got in his way. Ryan walked out of the warehouse and into the snowy outside, how it snows in LS he would never know, he walked to his Black SUV he had parked on the street. When he got in his car he say a missed call from Geoff, he hit the "Call Back" button and put it on speaker, laying it on the dash whilst he started his car.

"Ryan? Is it done, do you have Marcus?" Geoff voiced ask through the speaker of his phone.

"It is done, but"

"BUT WHAT", Geoff cut him off quickly.

"I was going to say what, before you interrupted", Ryan said and then continued after a brief pause, "Marcus is dead".

It was quiet for a moment before Geoff talked again, "Fuck" he swore under his breathe and more to himself, "Why did you do it?" Geoff didn't sound mad, he sounded like he was pleading, wondering why a mad man would do suck mad things.

"I don't know, I felt like it", Ryan said calmly, like it was nothing to him.

"Cause you felt like it?", Geoff said with a metaphorical head shake, "You have to do better then that".

"What do you want me to say, that I lost my wife and she sent me a dog after she died and this dude broke into my house to steal a classic car and killed the dog?" Ryan joked at the John Wick reference, "Come on man, it's simple, I killed him and it's done".

"Was there a reason, was he trying to kill you, did you have another choice?"

"Yeah, I could of taken him, he didn't have a gun, but I killed him anyway", Ryan said while turning left down a old street.

"Ryan, don't you care that the mission was for him to be alive, not to kill him, now the fucks who hired us are going to want a explanation why the guy he wants alive is fucking dead and in a body bad heading to the morgue, what am I supposed to tell 'em?" Geoff started to yell, "That you said fuck it and shot him in the head even though he didn't have to, not only are we not gonna get the money but they are probably gonna try to kill us to and throw us in the same hole as Marcus".

"I will just kill them to", Ryan said calmly, and seeming like he didn't care for this conversation.

"Yeah?", Geoff said sarcastically, "And when will it stop, when will there be no one left to kill, or when someone bigger then you kills you, then what Einstein?"

Ryan was starting to get pissed at this point, "Then I will kill them to, I don't give a fuck, tell those pricks that I shot him twice while he was begging like a bitch cause I wanted to, and then tell them I shot him once more just to make sure he was dead, then tell them that if they don't pay us the same will happen to them, and after they pay us I might kill them anyway", Ryan said angrily at Geoff and grabbed the phone, hanging up on Geoff and throwing it in the back seat. While talking he ended up driving to a bar on Grove Street, he parked in front of it and stepped out, there were people in front of the bar joking and smiling, Ryan grabbed his pistol from his waist ban and aimed at them both. "Give me all the money you got", Ryan said through gritted teeth, they quickly lost their smiles and gave Ryan their money, Ryan smiled and shot them both, laughing a little afterwards, he walked into the bar, the people in it clearly heard the shots and were already staring at the door when he walked in. Ryan started shooting as soon as he walked in, killing three of the nineteen men he counted. The men pulled out their guns to and started shooting, Ryan jumped over the counter and ducked behind it while the shoots were spraying over head, Ryan waited a second and aimed over and popped two more he saw, he quickly duck back down as the shots started again. Only fourteen left, he thought, and looked inside his coat for the Micro SMG he had in there, he checked it to make sure the clip was in good and it was cocked, he breathed out a breathe and smiled to himself before he stood up and sprayed the gun, he didn't let go of the trigger whole he jumped over the counter, it ran out of ammo pretty quickly, so he tossed it down but a man rushed him, Ryan grabbed the man and put his pistol to his head as a human shied and saw that only two other people were alive. "Drop the guns boys, or he gets it", the men didn't say anything and kept their guns up, Ryan could tell they were scared, "Suit yourself", he said before he aimed his gun at the two of them and shot them quickly, he then pushed his human shield to the ground and while he stumbled to get up he shot him to, killing him. 

"Well, that was easy", Ryan said, but then he felt pain in his gut, he looked down and saw blood, his blood, "Fuck", he swore and took a seat at a booth and laid his gun down on the table, he tore open his shirt and surveyed the damage, he heard some commotion on the other side of the bar and quickly aimed at where it came from, he saw a boy, about eleven years old, standing looking like a deer caught in the head lights, Ryan set his gun back down and tried to hold the blood oozing out, the boy slowly walked to Ryan, he was currently distracted by his wounds and saw the boy as little of a threat.

"Um, mister, I could help you, I know how to fix gun wounds", the boy peeped up with a British accent, and Ryan slowly looked up from his gut and at the boy, he nodded at the boy, indicating that he can go ahead. The boy walked to Ryan and pulled up the equipment needed to take the bullet out and stitch it up from his back pocket, "here, this will hurt", The boy said.

"I am used to pain", Ryan answered back.

"Well, can you lay down on the table, I can have better access to get the bullet out", the boy asked, Ryan stood up from the booth and then laid down on the table, and the boy started to work to get the bullet out. "What is your name?" The boy asked while he took the bullet out.

"Ryan, yours?"

"Gavin, you made quite a mess, how old are you?"

"Nineteen", he said while he hissed with pain because Gavin started to stitch him up.

"Oh, you are young to be doing all", Gavin paused to look at all the damage, "That".

"And you seem young to be stitching people up and taking bullets out", Ryan said with a chuckle.

"Hey, I am eleven and I can do anything you can do", Gavin finished stitching, "And the people here would let me stay in the back if I tended to their wounds", Gavin stood back while Ryan got up and put his gun in his waist holster, "Well they used to", Gavin said.

"Are you trying to guilt me to take you with me?" Ryan asked.

"What, no?" Gavin said, "But if you want to though".

Ryan laughed a bit, "Well kid, how would you like to join the Fakes?"

Gavin eyes went huge, "The Fakes? you're in the Fakes? with Vagabond and Kingpin, and Jack?", Gavin said very quickly like a fan boy, "Oh, do you know the Vagabond, is he as crazy as they say?"

Ryan laughed, realizing that Gavin didn't know he was talking to the Vagabond without his mask, "And more some kid, you're talking to him."

"What?" Gavin said confused, "No, he wears a mask", Ryan pulled out from his pocket his spare mask and put it on.

"Your right, I do", Ryan said while he popped his neck with the mask own, it smelled like a new car to him.

"Wow, that's so cool", Gavin beamed. 

"Follow me kid", Ryan said while he walled out of the bar, with Gavin behind him. They got into the car and Ryan reached back and got his phone from the back seat and preceded to call Geoff. It rang for a few moments before Geoff answered.

"Hello?"

"Geoff, good news", Ryan looked over at Gavin, "you know that medic you were looking for?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Walla, incase you didn't notice, it's a young FAKE AH Crew, with Ryan being 19 and Geoff being 25, and Jack being 23, this is a one shot but if you guys like it enough I could make it a solo story and add the other members when they were young, kinda like what the Xmen did.


End file.
